Restroom Etiquette

I need to take a quick break and vent for a few minutes. There seems to be a new etiquette in public restrooms that I just don’t get.
Yes, I know times are changing, but this is not good. Nope, not good at all.
In the restroom, I find that the following behaviors should be changed:
  • Talking on Cell Phones – Egad, what is wrong with you people? Can’t your calls wait until you are back at your desk? Can’t they at least wait until you are out of the restroom? Instead, it seems OK to not only talk while in the restroom, but it seems to be OK to flush in the middle of a conversation. I wonder how many phones have been accidentally released into our sewer system by those that try to hold the phone properly to hear, try to talk, and try to lean over and flush all at the same time. These same people are completely incapable of listening to a speaker phone and taking notes during a conference call, but they suddenly become Mr. Fantastic with all the stretchy skills while in a toilet stall.
  • Playing Games on Cell Phones – I just love to hear the beeps and all the other noises next to me in the restroom. Hey, is that Joe, or it is a cyborg creature of some kind in there? Hey dude, turn it down, I am trying to compose email in my toilet stall and your game is distracting. I remember one guy coming out of the toilet wanting to high-five somebody because he got his high score. Yeah, ewww is exactly what I thought, too.
  • Bodily Noises – OK, that comes with the territory, but there is a certain point where a person is likely to blow out an O-ring or a gasket of some kind if they continue to push so hard. It isn’t a weight room and those sounds really don’t belong. If you aren’t making progress, go back to work and come back when you are really ready to go. I have seen more than one blown blood vessel in an eye because somebody really just tried to force it. Repeat after me, "More fiber."
  • Personal Conversations – WTF? I can’t believe people hold conversations between stalls. When I enter a stall, I would like to think I am in my own little private space. While I realize that it isn’t my own little world, I do not want to talk about Harry’s new MP3 player while in the restroom.
I sure hope the women’s room isn’t as bad as the men’s room. This is just getting way out of hand.
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