Masters of the Obvious

I played 18 holes of golf yesterday as part of our company team building. What a great time. I got a slight sunburn. During the round, the others in my foursome killed me with some glarilngly obvious statements like:
  • You really should have hit that straighter
  • You shouldn’t have hit that one so hard
  • You misread the break on that green
  • If you would have sunk that one, we would have had a birdie (we played a scramble format)
After I got home and had some dinner, I watched baseball on ESPN just to listen to some more glaringly obvious statements. I really wanted to call ESPN and ask them to connect me to the booth, but I was too tired after the hard day at work. The announcers amazed me with such insightful comments as:
  • If the ball would have been inside the line, it would have been a fair ball and would have been a hit
  • The pitcher’s goal is to get in there and throw strikes
  • When fielding a bunt, it is really important to make sure you at least get the out
  • The catcher really needs to block balls in the dirt so they don’t get by him and allow the baserunner to advance
  • Hitting the wall on a dead run can cause serious injury
I was waiting for them to make comments about not playing with scissors in the outfield.
After all of the joy of such insightful comments, I decided to make some of my own to a friend on the phone (he is trying to find ways to save money):
  • If you had a more economical car, you would save money
  • If you used coupons, you would save money
  • If you didn’t buy as much stuff, you would save money
  • If you sold your house and moved into a cardboard box, you would save money
I don’t think he got most of my comments as being blaringly obvious. He kept saying, "Yeah, you are right, it would help." I think I need new friends.
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