Brother’s Wedding, a Count Down

Saturday is getting closer. Yes, I understand that as time passes, future events that were further out get closer and closer. Tomorrow it will be even closer than it is today.

Last Saturday (one week prior to this coming Saturday), my brother took me and all of his nephews (our family currently stands at a 6:1 ratio of boys to girls for this generation) to the wedding site where he tried to keep them focused (um, he never had boys) and explain what he wants them to do at the wedding. I can still see it as he says, "So when a wedding guest asks where to go, you tell them…" while they were all busy talking about squishing bugs and telling everyone that their uncle is getting married and he is a drug dealer (he works for a pharmaceuticals manufacturer). I just don’t think the information took and Saturday will arrive with a bunch or nephews wandering around in circles.

I received my daily wedding update (my brother sends them out to me knowing full well that I can’t keep a schedule to save my life) the other day and actually read it. The plans, as near as I can translate them include:

  1. Rehearsal on Friday
  2. Taking everyone out to eat at Casa Bonita (which is well known as a tourist trap that delivers lots of Montezuma’s Revenge to all without iron stomachs) after the rehearsal
  3. Starting Saturday morning off with about 40 different overlapping hair appointments for members of the wedding party
  4. Keeping all restrooms stocked with toilet paper (see item 2.)
  5. Getting everyone to the wedding site
  6. Keeping nephews focused (pharmaceuticals will certainly be involved, I hope he gets a good discount) on their escort duties
  7. Getting pictures taken (second doses will be needed)
  8. Wedding ceremony
  9. Reception with open bar (yes! I will be needing it by then)
  10. Dinner (for those able to eat after Friday’s dinner)
  11. Toasts (I will have to make one up soon) and dancing

No where in his plans does he talk about bail money, search and rescue parties, or emergency vehicles. This should be an interesting weekend.

Note Added 6/1/05: I survived the wedding. My feet were hurting so bad (freaking rental shoes that I had to wear per the wedding committee) that I could not sleep that night. Linda, my new sister-in-law, looked fantastic and the ceremony went pretty well. I have to admit that I have never heard a wedding ceremony where the word "sex" was so prominant.

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